It was one night, one fate and something tragic destroying something beautiful.
Heavy sheets of smoke curling and rolling together constricting my visions of this life I had.
You see that there?
That wrenching pain in your gut knowing not everything as it seems?
Look closer. That nervous energy you now have, stumbling over words you can’t say, a voice muffled under a mask, a moaning plea to be saved, slurred words on the tip of your tongue, there’s the something tragic.
When I have nothing left to give, nothing left to say, it’s him that brings me back to the moment, in the arms of my firefighter, the warmth of his heart and body, struggling to save his family.
“Stop thinking,” he whispered, sensing my distraction. He came to rest against my chest as he entered me, both of us groaning as he filled me. “That’s it. No more...thinking.”
It was right then that I tried to stop and be there in the moment, but it was hard when our overly curious and insane black lab started scratching and barking at the bathroom door where Jace had barricaded him so we could have sex. If he wasn’t locked in another room, he stared at us the entire time. It was unnerving.
Gripping Jace’s shoulders, I looked over his right one at the door to the bathroom to make sure that asshole of a dog stayed put. Just when I thought maybe we might make it before he started in with the barking, he began to howl, and then bark.
Little bastard had the worst timing.
“Damn it,” I muttered, shaking my head and turning into Jace’s chest. The warmth of his body, the smell of his deodorant, consumed me, bringing me back to our moment. We were alone, one of the very few alone times we got, and my boy was moving above me.
Perfection.
The thing was, Jace knew my body like no one else, which meant he knew when I was getting frustrated, too.
My legs fell from around his waist when Smokey’s howling reached an all-time high and he began his obsessive jumping as though he was going to come through the door at any minute...or destroy the bathroom. Both of which he’s done before. Many times.
“Don’t you dare stop, Aubrey. Don’t you fucking stop right now.” Jace’s breath caught in his throat as he continued to move in and out of me. His eyes fluttered closed as his hands held me in place. “We need this.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” I sighed, and my hands went from his shoulders to his chest, pushing back, only to have him rock against me. He wasn’t having it, though, and shifted his weight, pushing my arms against the mattress, his pace picking up, and goddamn if it didn’t feel so right, so complete.
It was the kind of sex that made you feel all warm and tingling. You know — the kind where even the slightest movement can make you come because it’s literally been so fucking long since you’ve had any stimulation down there. All that aside, I heard Gracie padding down the hallway. Thank goodness Jace had locked the bedroom door.
“The kids are up.”
As much as I wanted him to continue, there were so many problems with this situation.
“I don’t care.” And I was sure he didn’t.
As in most situations, when Jace Kenneth Ryan had something in his head — a mission like this — there was no stopping him.
It wasn’t like I wanted to stop him. It had been just as long for me since we last had sex. I wanted nothing more than to ride this shit out of him, but reality was weighing in on that decision.
That damn dog started in with his howling, waking up Jayden, and then we had both kids at the door, crying and wondering why their parents weren’t around.
Who was next, Child Protective Services?
Don’t even think that, Aubrey!
“Come on baby...stay in the moment,” Jace grunted, moving the hand that was at the side down my body, over my ribs and lower until it was at my knee. Gripping my leg tightly, he angled my legs farther apart, his hips moving at a steady pace.
He was determined to finish. “You like that, don’t you?” he asked when he saw my eyes close, the sensations overwhelming me. “You feel so good.”
I did like that. In fact, I loved it.
Just as I was beginning to relax and finally be in the moment, I heard the sounds I hated in times like this.
“Mommy!” our daughter Gracie yelled, pounding her tiny fists against the door. “Open the door!”
Jace didn’t stop — no, instead he sped up his movements as a growl emerged from deep in his throat.
That was until the dog burst through the wooden door of the bathroom and into our room, and began to hump the bedpost, and the kids continued to beat against the door. It wasn’t looking like we were going to be able to finish. At least, it didn’t seem right to me.
“I want to play Candy Crush!” Gracie shouted again.
“Use my phone. It’s on the table,” Jace yelled back, his mouth only parting from mine for a moment before he went back to work.
At that point, I just laid there. My concentration and desire seemed lost – if not from the kids screaming and yelling – but from the dog humping the bedpost by my head.
Who can relax like this?
Most mothers have been here before, and I know you have. Don’t lie. It doesn’t make you any less of a mother to wish for some alone time for yourself.
Yes, we love our children, but when they start impinging on our sex life, it becomes a problem.
That’s a shitty thing for me to say, isn’t it?
It was quiet for about a half a second when Gracie, still outside our door, asked, “What’s that noise?”
Jace stopped for about a half a second and then continued despite the squeaking bed springs. “Nothing. Go play your game.” By the irritation in his voice and his tightened grip, I knew how this was going to end.
“Jace...maybe—”
His hands twisted gently in my hair, pulling me into every strong-minded thrust. “Hold on honey...please...” he whispered. “I’m so close.”
If only I was that close.
Like I said, I knew how this was going to end. It was going to end with the kids screaming and Jace getting frustrated and storming off. Same shit every day. I could already feel the mood changing.
“I can’t, Daddy!” she pouted. I could almost hear her bottom lip coming out. “I’m stuck on this level.”
Somehow the phone ended up under the locked door with both Jayden and Gracie screaming and both beating against the door.
And there was the moment it changed. He got frustrated.
“Fuck...” Jace sighed, rolling to the side, and I knew the moment was gone. With his arms resting over his stomach, he moved them to his face as he breathed heavily. Scrubbing his hands over his tired eyes, he kicked at the dog, pushing him away from the bedpost. “Knock it off, Smoke.”
I laughed. It was all I could do. This had happened to us so often that now it was hard not to be frustrated.
Jace got up after that. Barely lifting my head from the pillow, I watched his naked ass.
Such a shame.
Perfect. Muscular. Amazing.
When he reached the bathroom door he looked back at me, his hand on the knob, and then sighed. Turning away, he slammed the bathroom door shut behind him as he mumbled something about it being four weeks soon. The door, being broken, sprung open again so he used the laundry hamper to keep it closed.
"After a while you get comfortable, words and motions get familiar, and before you know you assume that they know and feel the same way, and you stop saying what needs to be said"
Something Worth Saving by Chelsea Landon is a story about love and life, how sometimes life gets in the way of actually living. Jace and Aubrey were a couple like most others, they lived together, had two adorable children that they loved with all their hearts and careers that they worked hard at, the only difference between them and other couples that they knew was, even after being together and having children, they still had not committed to each other through marriage, life had gotten in the way. Meeting each other in kindergarten, after arguing over who would get to use the coveted red crayon, they were best friends. Aubrey was then taken from Jace when her mother decided to move away. A chance meeting years later when Aubrey accidentally set her store on fire, Jace had been one of the firemen on the scene to extinguish the blaze. They started dating, and before they knew it, they lived in an apartment with two children and no wedding rings.
Aubrey wanted to get married, and at times questioned why Jace had never asked her to be his wife. His brothers at the firehouse would often tease him, telling him to make an honest woman out of Aubrey but still he never asked the question that she yearned to hear. As time went on and they both became busier and busier, things became a routine for them, and things like saying I love you, or spending alone time together was something that happened less and less often. Aubrey worried that something was coming between them and the longer it festered, the worse it would get. Jace loved Aubrey with all of his heart and he wanted her to be his wife, but he was unsure, with her upbringing and her past history with guys, did she even want to get married. Instead of talking to her about it, Jace did what he always did, kept his thoughts and even his fears of losing Aubrey to himself letting them simmer just under the surface until one day the ignited into a fire that neither of them could stop from spreading.
"We used to be one person, one heart and one soul fighting fire together. Now we're struggling to find our own way, our safety line cut, lost in clouds of smoke with no visibility."
It isn't until Aubrey's ex-boyfriend who broke her heart and forced her to leave her home and return to Seattle Ridley suddenly and unexpectedly appears and a tragedy strikes the firehouse where Jace works, that their world is shaken to its core and they fight through the smoke and blaze to find their way back to the love that they once had for each other. Would they make it through the heartache that plagued them? Only time would tell.
"There's something to be said about our memories of the past. They teach us about ourselves in ways others can't. You can't learn it. You have to live it."
Something Worth Saving was a 3 star read for me and I would recommend it to others who enjoy a story with some hot firemen, feisty girl friends who have no filter when speaking, drama, ex-boyfriends and tragedies that awaken what was long asleep within your soul.
“You’re not going to win this fight. Know why? Because I have something you want. Her.”
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“You’re not for her. I am. I was made for her. To love her, to protect her. To save her. So if you think you can take her, you’re wrong again. You can try, and maybe you will hurt me in the process like you want. But you can be goddamn sure that I will make you pay for it.”
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“Death doesn’t take you away from someone. They’re there everywhere we look. It doesn’t take away your memories, either — they’re there, too. Love is stronger than death. I believe that.”
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When would it stop? When would be able to talk? Or would it always be like this?
We used to be one person, one heart and one soul fighting fire together. Now we’re struggling to find our own way, our safety line cut, lost in clouds of smoke with no visibility.
We’re trapped.
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“I’m serious, Jace. Go! I’ll be right behind you.”
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“Stay with me, honey.” His voice was muffled by his mask, a harsh gravelly sound, followed by the hiss of each breath he took. “Please. Please just stay with me.”
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“Breathe, baby...please, just breathe...” Removing his breathing mask, he placed it against my face, urging me to take a breath. I didn’t want to. I didn’t feel I should be able to. “Breathe for me! Please just fucking breathe...” His voice faded.
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“Well...if he sets you on fire, then let me know. I know a guy who could probably put it out.”
1. A Beautiful War – Kings of Leon
2. Breathe Me – Sia
3. Grey Blue Eyes – Dave Matthews
4. Closer – Nine Inch Nails
5. This Moment – Katy Perry
6. As I’m Leaving – David Gray
7. In My Veins – Andrew Belle
8. Be Still – The Fray
9. Darling Nikki – Prince
10. Stroke Me – Mickey Avalon
11. The One I Love – David Gray
12. Say Something – A Great Big World
13. Syrup & Honey – Duffy
14. Simple Man – Lynyrd Skynyrd
15. You Found Me – The Fray
2. Breathe Me – Sia
3. Grey Blue Eyes – Dave Matthews
4. Closer – Nine Inch Nails
5. This Moment – Katy Perry
6. As I’m Leaving – David Gray
7. In My Veins – Andrew Belle
8. Be Still – The Fray
9. Darling Nikki – Prince
10. Stroke Me – Mickey Avalon
11. The One I Love – David Gray
12. Say Something – A Great Big World
13. Syrup & Honey – Duffy
14. Simple Man – Lynyrd Skynyrd
15. You Found Me – The Fray
A stay-at-home mom, Chelsea Landon spends her days drinking entirely too much caffeine, baking sugar-sweet treats she never eats, and jotting down notes for her novels. A dreamer at heart, she’s creating happily ever afters. She’s a lover, a writer, a dreamer, would rather type than speak, wants to remember everything, loves lots of ice in her drinks, and is slightly introverted.
